the connection crisis fueling the patriarchy

alex p.
2 min readNov 25, 2020

“i’ve gotta get some fucking friends.”

photo courtesy jonathan rados on unsplash

i’ve jokingly been saying this to myself and my partner, quoting one of my favorite movies, i love you, man.

paul rudd’s character is the epitome of the new age sensitive guy. his sweet, caring approach to life has landed him a solid career and a beautiful partner, but it’s clear that something’s off.

he has no guy friends. he has rejected traditional masculinity and in doing so chosen to walk a lonely road.

but here’s the thing: men are not alone on this road.

a question on r/AskReddit made me realize how many men are struggling with this same issue. it helped me see just how many men are walking this road, feeling alone, afraid, and deeply ashamed.

r/AskReddit post from u/BenTennyson2101

men aren’t really alone. they just aren’t talking about it. they aren’t connecting and deciding to walk this road together. the patriarchy doesn’t let them.

trapped by the taboo of wanting deep connection and the shame our patriarchal society dumps on men that don’t accept traditional masculine values, men are left feeling disconnected and alienated.



alex p.

used to be a pos. but people can change. thoughts on musings on making sense and building a fulfilling life.